Love hurts the most

Love hurts the most, and women (I mean myself) put too much of effort in building the relationship, sacrifice my own time to travel just to see him. No one force me to do so , I did it with my 100 % willing heart. Yet, in return I don't get what I expect I suppose to get. You may say love is about sacrifice, don't expect return (not in money form), but this could be the greatest motivation for you to continue your effort ! Do you still treat her very well even she treated you cold as ice ? No, right? For me I won't, not to make people feel irritated and yet embarassed myself.
Different between man and women. For Man - focus on career, his family, quality time with buddies. GF is not always the priority, work, family and friends come first. For Woman- career is just a temporary role before enter into marriage. Might change job, relocate or quit it for her famiily, sacrifice time for kids or help up her husband career. Her Family- Spend more time with his family than her own family and is willing to do so. Visit them once in a blue moon if no where to go. Her Buddies- Not seeing them if BF is around, seldom bring BF to see them as she wants to have more private moment with him. Or, bf wants her to follow to his buddies gathering. Does it seems familar to you ?
That was me, do everything according to my heart, and yet being calculative for the return. Maybe I am too seriuos about this relationship and willing to put all my heart into it. Maybe I am not mature enough to handle a relationship wisely. I told myself, not to be selfish, not to be jeolous, try to be content with what you got. But, all these emotions comes naturally, my mum never taught me to be selfish & jeolous. Am I being selfish to have more time spend together, meeting twice a month is it too much ? I have no clue, whatever...*shrug*

Another sleepless night

It is proven having lots of things on your mind late at night will make you toss and turn on the bed until 5am in the morning. And this is happened to me right now. Yes, I am here writting my first blog in Dec because I couldn't sleep and need to do something to pass the time.
I did not change at all in terms of my characteristic after 2 years of working life. My friends still treated me as cold as before and I really have no clue what to do. I always thought that there is a gap between me and them, a barrier where block our communication.
I am always the one who will be neglected.They stayed close to 3 of them and I am left out. I didn't enjoy today's gathering at all but I pretended to.What is my problem ? I have really tried my best to mix with them but the first sentences came out from her mouth really pissed me off.
Why should all of you have to cling together, why can't you all walk separately, why can't you look at me ?
There was one time I asked a master of feng shui is there a problem with my interpersonal relationship with others. He said not but all depend on one's attitude. I know I don't talk much but I have nothing to say. I really like to be surrounded.Why why why ?!!